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Premier Figuier Extreme by L’Artisan Parfumeur

February 11, 2010

Day 5 of the Heapnose Perfume Diary and today I’m wearing…do you know I can’t even bring myself to say it, let alone type it. So let’s pretend that you all read the title of this post and already know which perfume I’m wearing. Let’s assume also that you are all painfully aware that this perfume did not pass the Heapnose “Can I pronounce it’s name without sounding like a knobhead?” test.

Why don’t Germans make perfumes? I would have much more fun doing a cod German accent “Ya I am wearing zee Eine Kleine Nacht Wasser by Wilhelm Schmidt” than I currently have, getting my tongue round these pretentious French names. Plus, I bet with a German perfume you’d know exactly what you’re getting “smells like apfels und roses”, the portions would be hearty, and the application efficient.

Nonetheless, somewhere in the midst of all this French there is a clue as to the base note of this fragrance. Yes indeed, figs are the order of the day. Often described as “nature’s sweetener” the rising trend in organic skincare and shit, means that figs are enjoying something of a heyday in fragrant circles, and I must say, I’m not averse to their perfume in the slightest, despite not being terribly keen on their taste.

I wish I could take my figgy self over to Sion the Amiable Translator’s office to bid him a Gutten Tag and get a decent report on today’s fragrance, but alas, work commitments have taken me away from office for the day so you’ll just have to make do with the Heapnose verdict for now.

And I love it. It’s all green figs wrapped in coconut milk, and it’s so gloriously different from the standard Romantic scents that the design houses wheel out year after year. Diptyque’s Phylosykos (which I will review anon) is its nearest rival in the fig world, and probably holds more cache amongst the Liberty Perfume Hall set, but I really think that this is the nicer fragrance of the two. It’s a less pure fig scent, but to be honest, who wants to smell like a bona fide fig orchard when they’re popping down the local for a swift half before last orders. On the minus side, it is bone chillingly expensive (starts at about 50 to 60 quid in Britain), and can be tricky to get hold of. Unless you live in France.

I’m sorry that it’s just me weighing in on the old fragrance today: I had a look at what our friend Bois de Jasmin had to say about this one, but frankly anyone who uses the word “orchestration” in a perfume review, should by rights, be gunned down, so I’ll refrain from quoting her. Suffice to say she thought it was sehr gut as well.

x Heapnose x

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Steve Castle permalink
    February 11, 2010 2:12 pm

    Lovin the Heapnose daily diary…

    I have a potential future addition to the Heapnose aroma collection… Hot off the press.. You HAVE to check this out..

    ‘Fire meets Desire…”

  2. February 11, 2010 2:26 pm

    I think I probably would have said… rust.

  3. Heapnose permalink*
    February 11, 2010 7:51 pm

    Thank you both so much for your comments (Sion) and your suggestions (Steve)…the only thing more terrifying than the Piers Morgan scent is the Cliff Richard one…yes it does exist. Perhaps I’ll wear that next week. xxxx

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