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Michael Kors

July 21, 2009

Oh Michael. I remember our first encounter…not in the boutiques of Paris, nor the marble malls of Rodeo Drive, nor indeed in Heathrow Terminal 3 minutes before a Transatlantic flight. No Michael, you and I first crossed noses at the New Year’s Eve Pound a Pint Party at the Smithy Bridge Pub in Oldham. You were on the wrist of Jono’s Aunty Mallory, your intoxicating scent almost drowning under the weight of Carlsberg and Korma.

“Goodness me what is that fantastic fragrance?” I asked the native peasant-woman

It’s joooost called Michael” she replied in her native peasant-woman way before vanishing into the cold Yorkshire night.

Michael Kors5 years on, you and I remain friends. Of sorts. Your palpable absence in downtown Toronto left me sad, lonely. When we were finally reunited…Yes Michael, finally, after thirteen lonely subway stops and an express commuter bus, I found you cold, aloof. Not for you the reduced price gift set, nor even the promise of Shoppers Drug Mart points. Why, Michael, when i really needed  a 20% discount and a free cosmetic purse could you only offer a fragranced shimmer stick and a limited edition bronzer?

You never got on with my mother. She found you too saccharine, too smooth she claimed. My father too remained impervious to your charms, indifferent to your velvet packaging, and unimpressed by your honey hue. As for Clare, Izzy, even Jono’s Aunty Mallory, you clung to them in a way you never clung to me. You were in their hair, their scarves, their bedrooms. You were their “one” in a way that you were never mine. Was I to blame? Was I too fickle in my choices, too quick to change, day to day, week to week, outfit to outfit. Perhaps I could never offer you the exclusivity you so clearly needed, Michael. But I did love you.

And I love you still. You were there at graduation. You were there at my first Canadian job interview, at every job interview since and when the interviews dried up, and the offers stopped coming, still you stayed. When I told friends to throw money at the problem of my Christmas present, who offered the solution Michael? Who but you?

Time has passed Michael, but I know you’re there for me… My birthday, this Tuesday, the 28th of July, I know we’ll be together, you and I. You will escape the shackles of one of your three convenient Toronto locations: Sephora at the Eaton Centre, The Michael Kors store at Yorkdale Mall, or Holt Renfrew at Yonge and Bloor, to find me this coming Tuesday for my Birthday. You, who used to be so elusive can now be mail ordered by overseas benefactors Most major credit cards accepted, PayPal optional. And when you do come, I’ll be ready for you Michael. I’ll be ready.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 23, 2009 11:10 pm

    Thanks for posting about this, I would like to read more about this topic.

  2. Heapnose permalink*
    August 6, 2009 7:28 pm

    Ife Okwudili, God bless you. I’m sitting here with Michael, and we both send our love xxx

  3. Deborah permalink
    March 3, 2010 6:03 am

    I love they way u write!!!!haahhaha! Great review!!! xoxo from brasil

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